January has been a pretty powerful month for me and I can't really explain why. The new year and the internal ups and downs that come along with resolutions came and have, thankfully, passed. I've felt so many different emotions the past few weeks.
-I am grateful that I'm dating a perma-optimist because he reminds me that I, too, am optimistic.
-I swear I have learned these lessons before, but somehow I digress and must learn them again.
-I am tired of self-analyzing and sizing myself up. After a few weeks of moodiness, I am officially back to being OK with myself. I'm back to focusing on comparisons between past and current versions of myself rather than where I am in relation to others. And I couldn't be happier.
-Strive for understanding over being understood. I strongly believe that we have so much to learn about, and from, others. We celebrate our sense of each other; we have a lot to give one another. I resolve to step aside from myself. In Doctrine and Covenants 93:46, the Lord says, "I called you servants for the world's sake, and ye are their servants for my sake." I love that.
-I have heard God speak to me so often lately. The last few weeks, I had been wondering what value I could bring to the world, as I felt talentless and selfish. In Doctrine and Covenants 46:13-25, the Lord reminds us that we must remember why our spiritual gifts have been given to us. "For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby (D&C 46:11-12). The blessings of our lives are for the benefit of humanity. Most importantly: "And ye must give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with (D&C 46:32)." I had shamefully forgotten all of this, instead I sat complaining that the rest of the world was blessed with talents and that I had been forgotten. I read over my Patriarchal Blessing and felt an undeniable reminder that I have been brought here at this time for a reason; that He has created me how I am for a specific purpose. And I am deeply grateful for that knowledge. We are God's hands.
-I pray that I can be humble in all things. I want to go where He wants me to go. And be who He wants me to be.
-I swear I have learned these lessons before, but somehow I digress and must learn them again.
-I am tired of self-analyzing and sizing myself up. After a few weeks of moodiness, I am officially back to being OK with myself. I'm back to focusing on comparisons between past and current versions of myself rather than where I am in relation to others. And I couldn't be happier.
-Strive for understanding over being understood. I strongly believe that we have so much to learn about, and from, others. We celebrate our sense of each other; we have a lot to give one another. I resolve to step aside from myself. In Doctrine and Covenants 93:46, the Lord says, "I called you servants for the world's sake, and ye are their servants for my sake." I love that.
-I have heard God speak to me so often lately. The last few weeks, I had been wondering what value I could bring to the world, as I felt talentless and selfish. In Doctrine and Covenants 46:13-25, the Lord reminds us that we must remember why our spiritual gifts have been given to us. "For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby (D&C 46:11-12). The blessings of our lives are for the benefit of humanity. Most importantly: "And ye must give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with (D&C 46:32)." I had shamefully forgotten all of this, instead I sat complaining that the rest of the world was blessed with talents and that I had been forgotten. I read over my Patriarchal Blessing and felt an undeniable reminder that I have been brought here at this time for a reason; that He has created me how I am for a specific purpose. And I am deeply grateful for that knowledge. We are God's hands.
-I pray that I can be humble in all things. I want to go where He wants me to go. And be who He wants me to be.
Eric and I went to Salt Lake on Sunday night to meet his new nephew. Who is beautiful. And spent Martin Luther King, Jr. Day at his parents' house. It's a national day of service. Which is a beautiful concept. And while I, admittedly, slept the day away and read "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer (which is insanely beautiful), Eric and his dad worked on the gazebo that his dad is building in their backyard. I am constantly impressed by people and all that they are capable of. Taking an empty area and a pile of supplies and creating something that is, yes, beautiful.
Inauguration Day. How do I describe my feelings? I read an article on CNN.com the night before -- it reminded me that the following day's words were surely to be etched in marble someday. I love that. And I loved Obama's speech ... how honest it felt and how innately our souls recognize truth and find comfort within it. I posted the speech below and bolded some of my favorite parts.
2 comments:
YES, I love the way you put it. Optimism, being a servant of God, realizing your purpose, and not comparing. I love it all resolutions are to help us reflect so why do we often over expect and then become disappointed. You are an incredible person. I am grateful to know you.
Finding your talents is often a step into the darkness without certainty, an act of faith. The word adventure in it root meanings implies a risk taken. From there they are developed not so much "over time" but through frequent use and new risks.
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